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Change the way you see, not the way you look

8/1/2010

9 Comments

 
Today's blog post is inspired by Caitlin, blogger at Healthy Tipping Point and also Operation Beautiful. She's challenging bloggers to think and blog about body image.
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I've definitely changed the way I see when it comes to body image! It's been a long road, but I feel like I've finally begun to understand my body, I've finally started appreciating my body, and I have a better idea of how to take care of my body.

When I was in high school, I was thin and active. And like most high schoolers with insane metabolisms, I could eat whatever I wanted. I ate sausage patties almost every day for breakfast, chips and junk food for pre-fencing snacks. I didn't worry about my body shape, because I was probably the thinnest of my friends and they always told me how they'd love to be thin like me. I thought my body would always be the way it was.

Going into college, I decided to give up meat. I did it for health reasons, and for ethical reasons. I was a varsity athlete, and could still get away with a diet consisting of Snapple, junk food, french fries, Easy Mac, and Ramen. I gained a little weight, but it didn't bother me and I hardly noticed and didn't mind. I thought about my body as a a body that fenced, and was more worried about my abilities than my shape or weight. After all, I was at the height of my "fencing career."
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Yes, I ate ramen out of a serving bowl.
But as I worked out less and less during my junior and senior years, I gained quite a bit of weight. The increasing amounts of takeout didn't help either. At the time, I was in a long term relationship, and my boyfriend at the time didn't care what my body looked like. I became complacent, and even though I became too big for most of my jeans, I figured I'd just gained the freshman fifteen a little later than everyone else.

After college, I stopped fencing and stopped working out. I moved back home and ate a lot of junk food. My weight continued to climb. When I started getting too big for my work clothes and needed new ones, I realized I needed to change. I started working out with a friend after work. She got me to sign up for my first half marathon in June 2009, and got me hooked on races. Though we were both getting better and stronger, neither of us were seeing the results we wanted. So my mom and I tried the cabbage soup diet. It was a terrible idea. Even though I'd eaten enough soup that I thought I'd throw up, I was hungry an hour later. So my friend and I went to a nutritionist. It was hard to eat healthy and my body didn't like the adjustment. I couldn't be as strict as my nutritionist wanted me to be, but I did see improvements. Though we've stopped going in, I feel like I have a better understanding of fueling my body and I try to get more fruits and veggies, and enough protein. I also have a better understanding of portions. Of course, I don't always eat how I should, but I realized through personal experience that fad diets don't work. How you eat has to be a lifelong commitment--which means there will be slip ups and cheat days, but that you're in it for the long run. It's about doing what's good for your body.

After my first marathon, I finally appreciated my body. I still wish that my legs didn't rub together, and that my forehead weren't so big, etc... but my pride in my body for being able to run a marathon is greater than my discontent.

I haven't worked out in a month and I've been eating out a lot, but my weight is still close to what I'd consider "ideal." The funny thing is, it doesn't matter to me. That number on the scale isn't an indication of my worth or what I can do. What matters right now is that I get my body back into shape so I can rock Hood to Coast, and PR at my next half marathon ;)
9 Comments
Lindsay @ The Ketchup Diaries link
8/3/2010 10:20:37 pm

So glad I found your blog via Caitlin's website. Having gained weight in college too, I know how difficult it is to make changes. Thank you for sharing your story!!

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Tina link
8/4/2010 12:33:43 am

Great OB post! I agree that changing the view to health and away from the scale is so powerful. You are gorgeous!

And I added you on Twitter. I'm TinaFFF from faithfitnessfun.com

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Alana
8/5/2010 06:01:22 am

Glad I found this blog too! I am a runner, just ran the Rock and Roll Chicago Half Marathon this weekend... my time was less than ideal but i wanna work on getting better. any suggestions on training plans/nutrition plans?

PS You rocked that time in Seattle!

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Astrid link
8/5/2010 06:41:13 am

I love that you have learned to appreciate your body for what it can do. And that you honore that with a tattoo!! And a very awesome tattoo.

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Robyn @ Wannabe Writer Runner link
8/5/2010 07:05:26 am

Fabulous post and I totally identify with your story. Get back out there so you can rock the next race. And I used to eat ramen raw!

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Marilyn @ Lipgloss and Spandex link
8/7/2010 04:46:47 am

Hey ladies, thanks for stopping by! Caitlin's Operation Beautiful project, and "Change the way you see" week are awesome for connecting bloggers, and I've added all of you to my reader :)

Alana, congrats on your half marathon! I don't really follow a particular training plan... I just did whatever my friend did for long runs (she was also training for a marathon), and did lifting and cardio almost every day. Personally, I think I run best when I do 1 long run per week, and 2-3 short runs for cardio. I'm kind of a play it by ear sort of gal :P But Hal Higdon has some great training plans for runners of all levels--Novice, Intermediate, Advanced, Walkers: http://www.halhigdon.com/halfmarathon/ As for nutrition, I'd go see a nutritionist. It's worth the money. Other tips: keep a food journal, learn correct portions, eat LOTS of fruits and veggies, learn to cook, and try to avoid processed foods (they generally have too many calories, and not filling enough). Do I do those things all the time? No. But like I said, it's a lifestyle for me, so I try and do the best I can most days. :)

Thanks, Astrid. :) I really like how it turned out.

Robyn, you crack me up...I totally used to eat ramen raw too! I'd throw it in a ziploc, smash it up and put a little seasoning on it.

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Allie link
8/7/2010 05:14:20 am

Thanks for the sweet comment on my blog.
I had a totally different struggle with weight, I was always big but I lost 40 pounds in the last year. I still have a ways to go but it's funny how we all struggle in some way or another.

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Natural Cosmetics link
8/25/2010 08:13:08 am

That blue is so pretty! I love bright colors. I'm not brave enough to wear them though. If I put that next to my blue eyes it would look strange.

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Beauty Products link
7/19/2011 09:30:44 pm

Its really pretty good color. Really nice one.

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    Marilyn

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